Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Are Girls REALLY Easier Than Boys?

One of the things that I was totally dreading about revealing my pregnancy was the inevitable slew of comments and speculation about the gender of the baby.  For the record, I'm not actually sure what this one is.  I knew Cat was a boy without a doubt and I suspected the same of Bug, but with him I wasn't really certain until we saw that baby penis up on the screen:)  This baby, however, is throwing me for a loop:  I have had dreams that it's a girl and dreams that it's a boy, and I don't feel as connected with Baby as I did with, say, Bug (which makes sense, because when I was pregnant with Bug I wasn't chasing after two crazy kids).  But I am looking forward to finding out, in the hopes that everyone will shut the (expletive) up.

And obviously they won't, because no matter what, I will have to listen to people's insensitive comments.  And I'm already getting some fantastic ones, such as, "Oh, I really hope you don't wind up stuck with three boys"and "Will you be disappointed if it's not a girl?"  And really, what am I supposed to say to either of those?  And then there are all the people who keep telling me how much they want me to have a girl, but for those I actually have the witty response of, "Well, my uterus doesn't take requests."

Ugggghhhhhhh.

Look, yes, it would be nice to have a girl, but the fact of the matter is, I don't have magical powers which would enable me to tell this baby what to be.  But that's not the point of this post; rather, I am going to delve into something that someone else said to me.

One of my unmarried, childless girlfriends (whom I love) made the comment that she hoped I was having a girl as they are "much easier."  And I didn't respond to that, because if the daughters of my friends are any indication, girls AREN'T much easier.  In fact, all of the girls that I see are pretty much harder to parent than my duo.

Perhaps she was suggesting that little girls are less destructive than boys?  Perhaps, but Bug isn't really destructive (except when he gets a hold of a pen and insists on taking it apart).  He is really good about picking up his toys and putting things away (he has to be supervised and reminded of where to put things, but I think he's doing pretty well for a two and a half year old).  But when he gets together with his little girlfriend, well....I have seen them destroy my living room in a matter of minutes, and she's just as much of a culprit as he is:)

Which is fine!  But I don't understand this mentality that girls are so much easier than boys.  Boys certainly tend to be a little more rambunctious, but Bug and Cat are both sooooo sweet.  Bug loves to cuddle up with me and read, and Cat is getting more into that (now that he's mobile he's way more into crawling and cruising around and attempting to kill himself every time I look away from him for a half a second).  And here's a list of things that my friends' little girls do that Bug would never do (can't say about Cat yet, but I know for a fact my oldest would never do the following things):

-fight me about getting into the carseat (I actually can't lift Bug anymore, so he climbs in on his own now.  SO NICE).
-tell me, "Go away, Mommy!"
-refuse to let me dress him
-refuse to try on shoes at the store
-throw food at me (he did when he was a baby, but now he knows better.)

And now, here's a list of awesome things my oldest boy does:
-randomly comes up to me all day long and hugs and kisses me, and says, "Wuv woo, Mommy."
-helps with the following household chores:  washing, putting away clothing, hanging up/taking down diapers, sweeping, picking up toys, unloading the dishwasher
-climbs into my lap multiple times a day with a book in his hands
-always holds my hand when I extend it to him

Obviously, some of those will change as he gets older, but I don't think I could ask for more.  I think boys and girls' behavior should not be judged by gender, but rather personality.  Some girls have strong personalities and love to run and play as much as boys do.  Some boys have unmatched sweetness and I know on my end, I wouldn't trade my two little dudes for the world.

So I ask those of you who have children of both genders...which was easier for you?

Friday, October 12, 2012

How I'm Doing

Pregnancy #3 came as a complete shock.  Well, I guess not a complete shock, but I will say that I have officially learned my lesson for making fun of Michelle Duggar and her clown car uterus, because, well, I appear to have one of my own:)  This experience has also taught me that absolutely NO form of birth control is safe, and my husband will be getting fixed.  Yup.  We weighed the pros and cons of either of us getting sterilized (and unfortunately, due to my intense metal allergy, I am not a candidate for a method like the IUD), and we decided that it would be best if he was the one who "took one for the team."

Because this is one team that will not be growing.  After March, that is.

So to give you some perspective on how this is going to be, Bug will have turned 3 before Baby Shades' due date, and Cat will be about 15 months old.  ::gulps::

But seriously, you guys.  No form of birth control is safe.

I say this because while we, granted, were using more natural methods (which worked pretty well until they didn't), my friend Erin got pregnant over the summer while on the Nuvaring, which is a pretty idiot-proof form of birth control.  You pop the ring in for three weeks, you take it out for one, no babies.  So Erin happily did this for awhile until she missed a period.  And then she called me frantic with a positive pregnancy test.

So, she goes in, thinking she's like, 6-8 weeks along and learns that she is actually 18.5 WEEKS ALONG.  They do an ultrasound and she learns she's having a boy.  She hadn't missed her periods or anything.  She didn't mess up inserting it.  She wasn't on antibiotics.  Her birth control just failed.

And shortly after I learned all this I found out I was preggers.  Go figure.

Anyway, we are looking forward to learning if the boys are getting a brother or a sister.  We just refinanced our house--we are still planning on upgrading but we have made the decision to keep our place as a rental once we find a new place to live.  I am leaning toward  moving after the baby is born, but we'll see what happens.  I've started to learn that I shouldn't plan for anything.

I will say that this experience has taught me to truly be careful about what you say.  I told my doctor when I was at my 6 week checkup after Bug was born that I didn't want kids after age 30...and I will be 30 when this one is born:)

I am sort of freaked out about all of this, but I figure it's like having one, and then having two kids was:  I will find a way to make it work.  I haven't figured out how I'm going to do that yet, but I will let you know once I do:)

In other news, I will be updating my 30 before 30 list, as my birthday is now 4 days away.  I am sure you will forgive me for not reaching the "lose 15 lbs" goal, but Baby has sort of prevented that.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Expecting Unexpectedly...

Oh, my poor, poor neglected blog.

Sorry about that.  But I should be better at updating in the next few weeks.

So, what's been going on?  Well, first things first.  I have been working frantically on getting my novel ready for publication.  I now have an author page up at eLectio Publishing...so what are you waiting for?  Go check it out:)

The past two weeks have been spent cleaning up my manuscript (turns out I really did love adverbs too much.  I cut out so many of them!  It was daunting.  But now they're gone and my book is a lot better for it).  I will have more information about when you can buy my story about Anabel.  It should be up for pre-sale in the not too distant future.  You can buy it as an ebook for your Nook or Kindle, or as a PDF if you so desire.  I also imagine you can read it on your iPad if you are cool enough to have one of those:)

So, that's kind of a big deal.  But..there's something else that's kind of a big deal.

Meet #3.


To say that this came as a surprise to me and Jon is to make the understatement of the year, but yes. We're having a third!  And, uh, I've kind of been keeping it a secret, because I have actually known for awhile.  I'm seventeen weeks along, baby is due toward the end of March.

It's not that I didn't want to tell you, but to be honest, I was kind of freaked out at first, as in what the heck were we going to do because we live in a 1400 square foot home and are crowded as it is.  Then I was kind of embarrassed because...well, I just was.  But I go back to the doctor next week and shortly after that we should find out what we're having:)

Anyway, I will have more details about how we found out about #3 and what our plans are soon.  But that's my news!